At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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