i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
