your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
