Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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