Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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