hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
