I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
