Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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