I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
