is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
