Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
People in love make me want to vomit
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
