So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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