it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
