I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
