i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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