I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
