Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
