I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
