She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
false alarm. still invincible.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
