I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
