awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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