You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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