Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
