Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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