i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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