it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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