I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
