Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
