my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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