Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
