"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
