All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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