so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
