wakey wakey hands off snakey
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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