She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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