random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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