found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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