apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
