So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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