..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
