i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
