Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Mom said you looked used
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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