Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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