What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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