I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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