He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
