Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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