I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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