So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
