No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
