I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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