Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
