You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
